Shogun Noodle

Shogun Noodle
2838 SE 82nd Ave
Portland, OR 97266

This steamy dish of tonkatsu ramen from Shogun Noodle in SE Portland is easily the tastiest bowl of Jap soup I've had this side of the Pacific. While the gyoza served at Shogun may be less than stellar, all the soups I've tried have been as close to the real Japanese thing you can get. The cost is reasonable - this bowl of the standard size was a mere $6.95 - and the flavor is deep and layered. A healthy serving of noodles laced with marinated bamboo shoots, cute and swirly fish paste, hearty pieces of pork and a plethora of bean sprouts and cabbage add up to a delightful treat for a cold day.

Ethnicity/Style: Japanese
Atmosphere: B+ thanks to the Sumo on TV and counter-front seating
Bathroom: ?
Service: A
Taste: A
Price: $

Katz's Deli

Katz's Deli

205 E Houston St

New York, NY

I would imagine that Katz's was quite a different scene even even just a few years ago, considering the massive change the lower east side has experienced with respect to its existing economic and social climate. But I was still pretty upset with paying somewhere around $23 dollars, for what you see left, a famous Katz's pastrami sandwich ($14.95), a Katz's lemonade ($3.50 or so) and a Water (roughly the same price), plus tax. Not to mention the worst heartburn and accompanying smelly burps (I went to a concert afterward, where I was that guy) that I have suffered in a long time.

I definitely appreciate the place's history, aesthetic, and the sign that points to "Where Harry met Sally, Hope you had what she had," but beyond that, the search for the perfect (or even generally consumable) pastrami continues.

Ethnicity/Style: Jewish
Atmosphere: A
Bathroom: I didn't shit out all of that greasy pastrami, so I don't know.
Service: A
Taste: C
Price: $$$$$$$

Smoking & Drinking BLOG

PDX: NoHo's Hawaiian Cafe

2525 SE Clinton St
Portland, OR 97202
(503) 233-5301
Map

Menu via NoHo's Website
Review via Yelp

This is what the sign looks like!

In a city saturated with numerous middle of the road teriyaki joints, it can be a real chore to find a good one. NoHo's Hawaiian grill is just the spot if you're looking for cheap, delectable and authentic teriyaki. With a menu and portions large enough to please even King Kamehameha, this place will keep you coming back to try such succulent specials as the Kahlua Pork (offered on Friday's only) or the highly touted Phil's Ono Chicken. Upon my visit to NoHo's I was greeted and seated by a nice young woman CLEARLY imported directly FROM HAWAII! Her English was was surprisingly good enough to communicate my basic order. I had the special of the day - Vegetables with my choice of chicken (teriyaki chicken, in this case) - washed down with a tasty glass of Passion Orange Guava (POG Juice).

These are the specials!!!!!1!

My food arrived promptly: perfectly grilled pieces of mouthwatering chicken served atop a bed of broccoli, onions, cauliflower, snow peas and various other delicious veggies all smothered in a not-to-sweet, not-to-syrupy teriyaki sauce. I've tried countless amounts of teriyaki joints and NoHo's sauce is easily the best I've had. The portion was humongous! There would have been enough food to feed me for at least 2 meals had I not starved myself for 6 hours prior to eating.

This is the food I ate!

Aesthetically, NoHo's isn't anything special. The restaurant itself is quite small and only has enough seating for about 30 people. It's definitely not the type of place you could take a large group to, as the small wooden tables are placed sporadically throughout. One perk I found, however, lies in the fact NoHo's seems to be more than just a name, but a rule to boot! There were absolutely NO prostitutes present during the whole time I was eating! What a relief, but how'd they do that? From a cost standpoint, NoHo's, for the amount of food and quality, is a real bargain. While I failed to snap a candid photo of my receipt, my meal was still under $15 after tip which is quite the deal when you consider one trip can feed you twice. I would strongly recommend NoHo's to anyone looking for some truly delicious teriyaki who hates having to eat around skanky bitches.

Ethnicity/Style: Hawaiian
Atmosphere: A+ (Lived up to the name, NO HOES HERE!)
Bathroom: N/A
Service: B
Taste: A-
Portion: A
Selection: A
Price: $$

LA: Manzanillo Taco Truck

Eagle Rock Blvd near York Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90041
Map


Carne asada is not a crime!
In honor of Taco Truck Night, two of my coworkers (Fred & Nico) and I went on a hunt for a delicious taco truck for lunch. After a brief drive, we found Manzanillo. The service was efficient to say the least. I received my food freshly cooked before my eyes within two minutes.


After we received our individual paper bags of delicious Mexican food, we hopped back into Nico's car to eat our lunch at the office. My chicken burrito was stuffed full of moist cuts of chicken and ample amounts of vegetables, rice, and beans. The flour tortilla that housed the meal was a bit too thick and doughlike. But overall, the burrito was nearly perfect (could have used some jalapeños and sour cream).


Since this was a taco truck I figured it would have been stupid to not order a few, especially at only a dollar each. Oh man, I was happy I two because they were great! The carne asada tacos were excellently overstuffed for their corn tortillas. The meat was wonderfully seasoned and was topped with a delicious salsa roja.


I decided to copy Nico and ordered a ice cold can of Hawaiian Punch, which ended up being the perfect compliment to this greasy/spicy meal.


A burrito, two tacos, and a can of Hawaiian Punch for $5.75 is a great deal. If you are in the area and have a craving for some tasty tacos look no further than the truck with a shrimp painted on the back. Manzanillo delivers a perfect meal without making a dent in the old checking account.

If you are an Angeleno, then you may have heard about the ridiculous new restrictions that could affect a taco truck near you. If you disagree with this as much as I do, head over to Save Our Taco Trucks and sign the petition.

Ethnicity/Style: Mexican Taco Truck
Atmosphere: B (I ate at my desk which is a crummy way to spend lunch)
Bathroom: N/A
Service: A
Taste: B
Portion: A
Selection: B
Price: $

PDX: Montage

301 SE Morrison St
Portland, OR 97214
(503) 234-1324
Map

Information via Montage
Review via Yelp


I stole this picture.
I have so many memories from frequent visits to The Montage, but since I am essentially encroaching on blog-turf I will keep this review short.

With just one night back in town you'd think that deciding on the perfect bar/restaurant would be difficult - but when the first suggestion is The Montage, decisions are easy. The Montage is a place where the food is cheap, plentiful, and most importantly - delicious. However the atmosphere of The Montage is what really sells me. I love to be seated at the communal tables and engage in great discussions with the strangers seated next to you.


I started off with the Hoppin' Jon Salad, which was amazing as always. God, it is so nice to have a real fucking salad for a change. In Los Angeles, anytime I order a salad I get chopped iceberg lettuce stem and maybe some carrot shreds. A salad shouldn't be the most regrettable menu choice. It should be the lush beginning to a delicious meal - the Hoppin' Jon was just that - and the cornbread! The cornbread was was super moist and crumbly - perfection!


For the main course I had the Spold Mac, which is a perfect combination of heavy cream from the Old Mac and the spicy kick of the Spicy Mac. The Spold Mac is plentifully garnished with Parmesan and a slice of jalapeño. This is easily my favorite item on the menu and I usually inhale all of it.


Now because I always eat my food with haste, I always miss out on one of the wonderfully quirky things that makes The Montage a unique destination. Instead of a clumsy box or Styrofoam container, The Montage packages your leftovers in an awesome foil sculpture. In the past I have seen everything from bongs to scorpions to mermaids. The picture doesn't do the sculpture justice but Andrew is holding a giant foil lion.

Now because the size of our party, I didn't bother to take a picture of the bill because it would make this place look expensive. (We tipped the waiter with the I Got The Hook Up Soundtrack) But, I assure you, if you are looking for somewhere you can eat with a 5 dollar bill - don't settle with fast food. The Montage stays open well past the bars and serves some of the best food in Portland.

Ethnicity/Style: Cajun/Creole
Atmosphere: A (Kool Keith blaring on the stereo, fuck yeah!)
Bathroom: D
Service: A
Taste: A
Portion: A
Selection: A
Price: $

MEM: Blue Plate Cafe

Blue Plate Cafe
113 Court Square
Memphis, TN 38103
(901)523-2050
Map

Menu via Restaurant.com

I now live in downtown Memphis, which is home to some of the best restaurants in the world. And by best, I don't mean classy or certainly cleanest. Here, it's all about comfort food. Barbecue, fried chicken, burgers and just about everything else that is terribly delicious and terribly terrible for you. I've been to several places that claim to be "The Best This", "World Famous That" or "The One and Only Whatever". And to be honest, almost all of the them have been shit. So when making my decision of the subject of my first posting, I thought of picking the most unassuming, nearly invisible spot downtown: The Blue Plate Cafe.


The Blue Plate Cafe is conveniently located, well, just around the corner from my apartment building. Once I entered the door, I was really surprised to see how bustling this place was. Despite it being packed, I was seated instantly. And before I knew it, I had some sweet tea in front of me. The waitress was ready for my order long before I was. I hadn't eaten breakfast in so long, I couldn't decide what to order. While scanning the menu, I noticed how cheap every item was. I decided on Eggs Benedict, which is always a noble choice. I didn't read the menu in detail, but all of the egg dishes come with biscuits and gravy. Eggs Benedict and biscuits and gravy? Fuck.


The food took ten short minutes to arrive and everything looked really good. The hollandaise sauce was just right, the eggs were good and runny, the hash browns actual bits of potato and not shreds. The B&G were OKAY, which is something you will very rarely hear from me. But the gravy was really loose and the biscuits were too light and pillowy. They weren't the main event, though.


The service was also quite amazing. The waitress was nearly frantic about the dipping level of tea in my glass and would check in on it about every 2 minutes. The atmosphere of the place was making me pretty happy, despite it was around 10AM on a Sunday. Bright colors, the Stones and Dylan playing in the background, and a belly full of buttery, buttery food didn't hurt.


I left The Blue Plate Cafe full and happy. Even with a tip, I found the total to be highly reasonable. I would strongly recommend this place to anyone in Memphis looking for a good, cheap breakfast/brunch/lunch spot. It was truly the Ding-Dong.

Ethnicity/Style: American Breakfast
Atmosphere: A (hello, wicker baskets on the walls)
Bathroom: N/A
Service: A
Taste: A-
Portion: A
Selection: A
Price: $

LA: Tg Express

1906 W 3rd St
Los Angeles, CA 90057
(213) 483-8033
Map

Menu via Tg Express
Review via Yelp


Fuck this.
So, last night I was super hungry and decided to go to this Chinese spot right by my house called Wong's Wok. They closed early - so I went on Yelp and looked up the highest rated delivery place in my area - it suggested Tg Express.

I honestly was trying to find a good restaurant to review so I wouldn't look like some food prick. But, this place was fucking awful. I ordered the two most basic/generic entries they have and it was so gross!


The egg on the Pad Thai was really runny and yolkie. The sprouts were super greasy. The chicken looked like Krang. Even though it wasn't very good - it was definitely the better half of the meal.


I had originally ordered just the orange chicken and fried rice combo, but the place had a $10 minimum for cards. Luckily I ordered the Pad Thai too. Otherwise I totally would have starved for the night because there was no fucking way I was going to try to eat this. The rice was really greasy yet remained really crunchy. The chicken came fried with a little plastic cup of orange syrup for drizzling. There definitely wasn't enough sauce for all the chicken. The chicken! It probably wasn't even chicken! The meat was so visceral; it was hard not to imagine I was chewing on fried rat knuckles. It was like chewing leather and vines. Biting down on an electric cord. So gross!


The food came with a Thai Iced Tea that I didn't order. I wasn't charged for it so that was a plus.


$13.60 for a meal that was intended for four people and a free drink is amazing. That is why it is such a shame the food has to be the worst Chinese/Thai food I have ever had. I love cheap/good restaurants like Wong's Wok but they are so rare! Way to go Yelp reviewers!

I definitely won't be eating here again. Not even if it came with two free drinks!

Ethnicity/Style: Thai Generic
Atmosphere: A (I was at my house so I can't hate)
Bathroom: B
Service: C
Taste: F
Portion: A
Selection: A
Price: $